Once again, what i have been telling myself over the years i have been alone. Seems to be true, fore it seems god hates me. At first, i thought our life was going to be perfect. From the moment we started dating i was so happy. I thought that finally, i get something good. I did get good, i got far more better than i seem to be. How do i deserve you my love? I always thought we were doing good, but it really seems like i was living in delusion. You were suffering the whole time without me even noticing that. Nowdays it seems you have begun to reliaze that you are too good for me, and you are trying to make me worthy for you. And what comes then if i cannot change? Are you going to abandon me? Will i be demoted again to that miserable failure i originally was? All my life i have been hearing how worthless i am, straight to face and behind my back, but when it is done by the one you love more than life itself.. It may not be intentional, it may be that you are trying to make yourself holding up more than you can by watching over me, your worthless love(me). And thats why you are trying to make me into something that you can handle without having burnout. If burnout were to happen to you... I would indefinatly do something to myself, heck i even might not be myself. If we were to do the "break" i might return as completely different person. I hope you can have, and love me as your to become husband as i am. And i don't mean we cannot change, we change all the time. I care about you more than my puny little soul, or my heart. I gave them to you to do with them as you please. I really want to fix things, i'll do about anything. You need to make me understand, we need to figure this out by ourselves. I just hope you know how important you really are to me. I could write a book for you about that. Im worried about you. Im worried about for our sakes, what will become of us? I will grow to be a man, you will be able to trust and not causing you a burnout. Just let me grow on my own pace and my own way. I appriciate your help, but only if you want to help. Change won't happen in instant, as you have told me, so please don't excpect that from me. Please.